The Meaning Behind Your Sex Dreams

You're about to reach the big O during steamy wild sex when… Oh! You wake up. It was all just a dream. You're confused, aroused and somewhat ashamed. What the hell was that? Why were you dreaming about sex?

Sex dreams or dreaming of sex is normal. Yes, it is. (and yes, dreaming about other people instead of your partner is normal too.) You can relax now. It can, however, be awkward or make you feel uncomfortable. Even though we logically understand that they're "not real," sexual dreams can have a profound effect on our psyche, causing us to feel arousal, guilt, or fear. But do remember, it’s just a dream.

Dreams are bits and pieces of our waking life. Research says that there are no strangers in our dreams. Everyone or anything you saw you in your dream, you've seen in your waking life. Some may be distorted, and some aren't an exact replica but it's still the same thing. So, if you were dreaming of having sex with a stranger, it was probably someone you've seen in the subway but didn't really pay attention to.

Sex dreams about your boss do not mean that you want to get it on with them. It's common to dream about sex with someone who is off-limits. Instead of interpreting it as a lust towards your boss, it could actually be about power dynamics in the office. You either feel submissive or want to feel dominant or defiant. Other experts say it might mean that you might be craving attention from a figure of authority. If that's the case figure out to whom exactly you want that attention, and no it's almost never your boss.

Sexual dreams about your ex are much more confusing than just dreaming about your boss. You wake up with messed up emotions. Do you want them back? Do you miss them? Are you not happy with your current relationship? The answer to that is yes and no. Yes, you might be dreaming of them because you haven't moved on yet, and that's okay. Moving on is not an easy and fast process. It might also mean that you have unresolved emotions towards them. And no, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're not happy with your new or current relationship, it might mean that you're just getting used to it. Lastly, you're dreaming about an ex or a fling most probably because you long for that type of relationship or what the relationship represents. (i.e., newness, butterflies, passion)
 
Doing it in public is as scandalous and risqué as it gets. If you’re dreaming about having sex in a park, a public bathroom, or in a room full of people it doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to do it like that, (or with some audience that is) it could mean that you want a little more adventure. As established sex dreams thrive on the forbidden. It could also mean that you might be leaning into doing sexual fantasies with a partner to spice things up, and your mind is just giving you all these ideas. While dreams don’t always mean something literally, they can help us understand our desires.

Sex dreams of being with the same sex even if you're straight doesn’t necessarily mean that you're into it. Research says that it's mostly straight women who have dreams about lesbian sex, even if they don't actually want to be with a woman in real life. It’s okay to be turned on by sexual acts or sexualities that don’t match with your existing sex life. We all know men are aroused watching two women get into it. It’s perfectly normal. It might just be your mind telling you to be more open in those experiences.
 
Holly Richmond, Ph.D., a sex therapist in New York City, says people often worry that if they dream about something, it means they want to do it IRL, but that isn't the case. "It almost never has anything to do with actual desire or arousal," Richmond says. What happens in dreamland is often meant to stay in dreamland.

Dreams in general is your mind trying to put on a story or possibilities without your logic hindering it. Your emotions are spiked up as well whenever your dreaming so, know that it's okay if you feel confused, aroused, mad, sad, or happy after dreaming something sexual. Sexual dream life overall may just be giving you a chance to find and understand what you need to resolve, or what you need to pay more attention to. Embrace them, as they are a normal part of life.